PARTY ANIMALS
Dearest Family and Friends
57 Cumberland Street, San Francisco CA 94110
Phone Number: +1 415 738 2112
February Highlights
Buying Nothing
In Month Two I got into the virtuous swing of my project, chatting brightly at social occasions about my fascinating experiment, and now much more reconciled and aware of not shopping. It has started to colour my thinking much more tangibly.My shopping is now confined to food, essential household items and supporting the arts. But the Buying Nothing project has also made me consider every allowable purchase as well – which I hadn’t really anticipated.
We should know the provenance of our food, the disposability of our household goods, the value of objects in monetary, energy-consumption, emotional and personal terms.
A moral dimension to shopping has started to form in my mind – I’ve loaded good and evil, opprobrium and praise onto inanimate objects: colas = evil; resoled boots = good.
I’m enjoying the debates with friends and strangers. My friend Keith had an interesting point: “Money itself and the act of spending are both in my opinion morally neutral. It is our relationship to the former and our choices with the latter that provide the moral direction.”
We’ve all long recognised that our only power in a global age of interconnected markets is that of purchasing. Targeting spend (local over large multi-national, recycling wherever possible, eating sustainable food, repairing not replacing) in moral terms often provides me with more endorphins than the temporary rush received when adding to the gadget/record/shoe/hat/homeware collection.
At heart I’m still feeling a bit of a fraud. In truth, I don’t actually need anything – our household is set up. Material consumption and status competition already didn’t really feature much in our lives. We get more of a buzz from new destinations and experiences than from new possessions.
Best Free Thing of the MonthOn the last Friday of February, the Moon and Venus shared the early evening sky in a beautiful conjunction. Separated by only about 2 degrees, they also were both in a crescent phase. Just like the Moon, Venus can appear as a full disk or a thin crescent. Frequently the brightest object in the post-sunset or pre-sunrise sky, Venus is so small that it usually requires binoculars or a small telescope to clearly see its phase.
Colman came home from work and told me he could see it, so I rushed outside with the long lens and managed, after a shaky start, to get this very sharp image. Really phenomenal!
My personal goal for the year is to have radically reduced clutter, to operate with only those things that I genuinely need, really use and truly love.
A lofty ambition but one that is so far not producing results. Our home looks identical on the 28th February as it did on the 31st December. I’ve used up a few lotions and potions, so there is some marginal improvement in the bathroom, and a couple of glasses were smashed at the party, but overall, we are still wallowing in STUFF as George Carlin so very brilliantly describes here.Transgression of the Month
We did make a significant purchase in February. A piece of metal sheared off our double stroller . Although I did look online for a secondhand one,
Lelli wanted a particular type which wasn’t forthcoming in the timeframe we had. So a brand new stroller was bought online.Of course I felt guilty for abandoning the 2nd hand only principle when it came to buying anything for Esme.
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Dressing Table Drawers My audit last month of the bathroom revealed the enormous number of possessions lurking in every nook and cranny,
and made me determined to adopt a much more masculine and utilitarian approach to toiletries. The bedroom inventory of make-up and fripperies, however, revealed (in some ways) more horrifying totals, crammed into 3 drawers; I imagine the volume is actually under the average for my contemporaries.
Beginning with make up, I was staggered to count 12 different foundations (and 1 undereye depuffer) – a few were free samples but this is a ridiculous quantity.
Although abstemious on the face powder (just 2, one loose and one compact), liquid eyeliner (1), eye pencils (2) and blusher (3), I made up for it in the mascara (6), lipstick (17), lip gloss (6), lip balm (6) (yes they are all different), eye shadow (16) and perfume (9) categories. Strewth! Many of these have been with me a very long time.
There is an original Biba lipstick, which I got swapping make up at school.
A mother of my classmate is probably still looking for it today. A couple of eye shadows I’ve had for 25 years – none of this stuff fades away, it’s all seemingly indestructible. And, yes I know, you’re meant to chuck away make up after a bit and replace. Fiddlesticks. Just a ploy to get you to buy more which adds to the hard plastics in landfill, and rapidly increases the alarming acreage of palm oil plantations at the expense of tropical rainforest. There is a lot we can do about climate change… And if you’re applying make up, you need brushes (6) and a sponge (1); if out and about it is handy to have your make up all in one convenient receptacle – I’ve two travel compacts, hardly used. I genuinely will never need to buy eye-shadow again for as long as I live.
Funnily enough, lots of make up applied to the face requires removal. And that means cleanser (3), toner (1), face mister (2), beauty serum (2), eye cream (3), and moisturiser. Probably the most essential item mentioned so far. And because I use it day and night, I’ve only got 2 day and 1 night ones left – an example of sensible practice: no stockpiling, used only as required.On the grooming front:
My manicure bag has nail scissors, 2 nail clippers, a set of toe separators, 2 tubes of foot cream, 2 bottles of nail varnish remover, and 14 nail polishes! There’s also 2 tweezers, 5 tubes of eyebrow dye, 2 bottles of eyelash dye fixer, a receptacle for mixing it all in, a hair band to keep your hair out of your face when applying make up, 7 wax strips, 4 eye masks, 1 bags of 2 differently sized hair rollers and one set of false eyelashes – now that took me back…
Miscellaneous additional items: 10 essential oils, 2 massage oils, 2 bottles of vitamin pills, a hairbrush, a lint roller, 2 baskets to hold everything neatly, 2 sets of Kirby grips (bobby pins), 6 hair clips, and my Autumn colour chart for clothes.
What struck me forcibly, is that the more stuff one buys, even if just an innocuous eye-shadow, it behoves one to buy more stuff – bag to keep it in, brush to apply it, and eye make-up remover to take it off.In a future audit, clothes - like every other woman I despair of ever having anything to wear but am sure if added up, the results will be truly shaming. And I can see already that my biggest temptation this year will be the vintage and pre-loved clothes shops of Valencia that I walk past many times a week…
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Celebrations
Festival of Nadine and Colman
Our festivities began with my birthday on Friday the 13th. The day started well – it was great getting so many good wishes via email, phone calls and that great social facilitator of our age, Facebook. Colman really surprised me: he dumped a very cold and heavy wrapped present on my lap, which turned out to be two large lumps of frozen meat – a venison loin and a wild boar joint!! He explained that he couldn’t buy me a Thing this year such as jewellery (my inward mutter was, don’t see why not??!!) and so the only course available to him was food, which is ‘allowed’.
But the morning rapidly went downhill. Esme was, as they say in American, challenging all morning, culminating in her peeing on our bed – the first time she had ever done so – which provoked me into shouting at her, although I was mortified and then overhugged her when she burst into tears.
I watched the last three episodes of Planet Earth – The Future during the day and was overwhelmed by utter despair at the greedy and heedless tyranny of humanity, the absolute carnage we have wreaked on the biodiversity of this beautiful orb we inhabit, and the sheer scale of the problems facing the environment. When they described how the amphibian population is in grave danger, and 2/3 of the world’s frog species are now on the critical list, I burst into tears and sat on the bed sobbing. My little frog, Esme, could see I was upset and calmed down for a while.
The day improved when Armani and Paola took me out for lunch at Samovar (thanks girls!) and I took Esme for a run around with Marcus in the baby lounge.
New Family Addition
Which is where I heard the news that Niamh, Colman’s sister, had had a baby girl, Caoimhe (pronounced Qu-eve-uh) in Sydney earlier that day. Many congratulations to Niamh!!!!
Restaurant of the Month
I had thought earlier in the week that Colman hadn’t remembered to arrange anything for my birthday, but oh me of little faith. He came home early from work (now that NEVER happens) and took Esme off my hands and I shut myself in the bedroom for an hour and chilled out, to recover my equilibrium.
He took me out for a lovely meal at Cassis in the Lower Haight, which features ‘authentic Niçoise cuisine and Italian-inspired regional specialties from the South of France.’
Colman sampled the caramelised onion tart followed by the chicken saltimbocca with prosciutto and sage in a veal stock; I went for lobster ravioli followed by slow cooked lamb in provencal sauce. We were intrigued by the garbanzo bean flour French fries and finished with a quintessential tarte tatin.
We joined Sylvia, who shares the same birthday, and some of the DLG after dinner for one drink. And was chatted up by Andrea, a late 20-something from Italy, who thought I was beautiful and very cool. Well, no doubt someone told him that flattery would get him somewhere with haggard older women. Still, most gratifying!But the best part of the night was actually having some one on one time out of the house with Colman – my love - we’ve now been together 7 years – how lucky we are.
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Expedition of the Month
Colman’s Valentine Surprise
I’d arranged a SURPRISE for Colman for Saturday 14th February. In contrast to the previous month, February was much more seasonally in tune with rain (often torrential) and winds (sometimes challenging to the vertical) and leaden skies (featuring several fashionable shades of pewter).
We headed due east in showery conditions, through the Berkeley hills. Colman’s initial intrigue at our route turned to bafflement as we drove through increasingly characterless commuter suburbs, as hills gave way to plain, and Big Agriculture came to dominate the landscape. We traversed and travelled beside the Sacramento river before heading due east again on a ruler-straight road, vast levee-banked and sunken fields stretching far to right and left. Colman gamely spoke of how interesting it is to witness a side of California that we never see – the featureless valley, the agri-business on an industrial scale, and noted how depressed the region is.
Lodi
Doris the sat-nav, tipped Colman off that bustling metropolis (pop 68,000) Lodi was our chosen destination. On arriving at destination - the somewhat soulless and corporate Hampton Inn and Suites - Colman was clearly taken aback: ‘this doesn’t look like an i-escape hotel!’
Esme enjoyed riding on the hotel trolley up to the room. As we approached along the corridor, Colman’s heart sank upon his hearing a noisy family: who were revealed to be Rob, Jecca, Billy and Luca Lawson in the room opposite – Colman’s First Valentine’s Surprise! We ventured forth into downtown historic Lodi (est. 1906) and mooched about, before the Lawsons suggested a walk. We agreed to follow them. Colman was amazed at how Rob knew where to go for a walk, ‘they’ve been here before?!?’
But then correctly guessed birds had to be involved.
Bird of the Month
We joined about 30 souls in a bleak car park, with sodden farmland all around, in time for the organised tour to see Sandhill Cranes - Colman’s Second Valentine’s Surprise.
Esme took an immediate interest in the proceedings, our matching outfits also caused much comment from the assembled earnest birders.
Now late in the afternoon, the rain held off,
and the sun did break through for a while, the light alternatively brilliant and gloomy. The sky was however, more remarkable for scores of geese, mostly Greater White-fronted Goose Anser albifrons flying in skeins, ribbons and wedges above us. The surrounding flooded fields contained many thousands, which honked incessantly, sometimes taking off in huge flocks. 
While the knowledgeable docents held forth for an hour about the Sandhill Crane Grus canadensis, sorely testing the patience of Jecca and Luca, Esme was as happy as a clam jumping in puddles, watching the sky and playing with Billy who was really wonderful with her.
Eventually, and with still some light in the sky, we drove down the road to find the cranes. As we arrived, we disturbed a Great Horned Owl from its silo roost – very excitingly my first sighting. 
In the deepening murk, and by now cold and bitter wind, we FINALLY saw small herds of the utterly distinctive Sandhill Cranes coming in to land, in a manner reminiscent of feisty fighters in World War II films. Colman managed to see their famous courtship dance through the telescope.
Their presence in the Sacramento Delta is a great story: careful land management and concerted conservation efforts have brought them back from 5 nesting pairs in the 1940s to 6000 birds now. These 5ft tall omnivores fly back to Oregon and NE California to breed, wintering near Lodi. They mate for life and can live up to 25 years in the wild. Their fossil records are among the oldest of any living bird.
On the point of departure, our attention was brought to some white fields in the distance. We had thought it was plastic sheeting, but no, the fields were bleached by thousands of Snow Geese Chen caerulescens - truly amazing and again a new Life Bird.Fun with the Lawsons
Rob organised the whole weekend and efficiently booked us into a popular Italian restaurant for dinner. Esme was still enchanted by Billy, and looked adoringly at him as they read books together
Colman and I put Esme to bed before adjourning to the Lawsons’ room. It was by now 8.30 and they’d already received two complaints about the boys making noise from the room occupants below. They offered to swap rooms (rejected) and explained that the boys did need to run around a bit but would be going to bed soon enough (after we had a few games of set.
Rob went down to reception. And witnessed the harassed receptionist dealing with a third complaint. Rob is nobody’s idea of a loud boorish type, she was very sympathetic to him making it clear she was on our side and that the
guests were being ridiculous. Rob then explained he only wanted to borrow the corkscrew…The next morning Colman’s final Valentine Surprise was meeting Joyce and Gary (who live near Sacramento) for breakfast in a local diner. It was the first time Joyce (one of the i-escape freelancers) had met Esme and Colman.
Our plans for further birding were scuppered by the rain and – everyone revealed as fair weather birders only. So we all went home, missing out on Lodi’s further (somewhat hidden) delights.
Thanks Rob, Jecca, Billy and Luca for being such excellent Valentine Surprises and arranging our trip to Lodi!
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Birthday Party
The following weekend saw our annual joint birthday party.
We entertained 50 folk (well entertained is perhaps stretching it but they put a brave face on it) from about 3.30pm until 1am.
There was a family contingent in the afternoon.
Tracey and the Twins (Selena and Zoe) joined Debra and Noa for a LDLG (Little Drinking Ladies Group) photo opportunity. 
The first Party Casualty was Ava (who also won best outfit) who ran into the newel post for a black eye, but was very brave.
Visitor of the Month was Sharon who happened to be in San Francisco for work and had time to party with us – thanks for the flowers and for hanging out, and good luck for the next few months with No.2!
I was very impressed by the lengths some went to to keep the presents appropriate to the year of Buying Nothing. Danny and Akemi chose an excellent card; Amy B had been witness to a conversation as to whether candles counted as essential household items or not
and put us out of our misery by giving some; Jason having heard Colman had been a little concerned we may be caught short, gift wrapped 2 rolls of loo paper (recycled natch) – the joke being that the previous week Colman and I had had a misunderstanding and both had bought paper, so we were entirely well stocked for the moment anyhow.
Adam and Jen graced us with a lengthy appearance
before heading off on the rest of the night’s adventures. Jen knitted us some psychedelic wrist bands from donated wool to make sure she didn’t buy us anything, which we are to wear at Burning Man; Adam is very kindly renewing my Vanity Fair subscription for me when it runs out in the summer.
Both sets of downstairs neighbours bearing chocolates and
flowers joined in on the basis of ‘if you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em’, and seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Lelli showcased the Most Daring use of Skirt Length; the Naughty Daniel Sisters rendered Services to Stripes.Jonathan brought a cake from Tartine – yummo!
The night took some surreal turns.
The Mystery Guest reached the top of the stairs complete with suitcases, spurred on by Colman’s warm welcome and offer of a drink, before realising he was in completely the wrong apartment having just arrived on a flight from Rome. He retreated, abashed, but had to return for his suitcases 5 minutes later.
There was the Reappearing Guest Phenomenon – started by Celeste, then Saal (with snazzy outfit change), and topped by Geoff. The final 6 (Jen, Laura, Annie & Geoff) left at the party had a fine old time for the last 2 hours, I’ve not giggled so much for many a moon.
Suddenly Geoff abruptly left the kitchen without a goodbye, so we camera-chased him as he departed. 20 minutes later, Colman suddenly paled – I saw a shadow! Someone’s just come in! – we said nonsense but then Geoff came back for more to much amusement.Thanks all, for celebrating with us!
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Oscars
Film Event of the Month
Finally, the Oscars were upon us. Having won the coveted Golden ‘Gina last year, it behove me to host this year. This proved to be a bit more arduous than you might imagine. 
We don’t subscribe to cable TV, so required the assistance of Morgan (for his cable) and Tom and Kim (for their television and cable package) in order to hook up our TV to downstairs’ cable.
I’d not thought about the event being so close to our party, but was caught on the hop with February being a short month so we had two events in a row. Just like the old days!
We did have a very entertaining evening, and it was excellent to see Sharon for the second day running.
Colman proved beyond debate that he is King of the Spreadsheet, entering everybody’s predictions into a master colour-coded document which showed the scores as the event progressed (or regressed, depending on your perspective).
The smart money and costume choices were all for Slumdog Millionaire; Tom and Deep won the prize for their contribution to racial harmony, world cinema and cross-cultural dressing.
Esme wore her best party frock especially for the occasion and was fascinated by the TV, the laptop with the scores, and politely clapped along every time the auditorium applauded.
Colman’s face grew longer and longer as it became apparent I was winning the contest, but I was delighted to win the Golden ‘Gina for the second time, and yes this means we host again next year!Top
San Francisco Fun
Delightful Dinners
One Saturday I arranged for Danny and Akemi to Surprise Colman by coming over to dinner, as we hadn’t seen them since their wedding in Tokyo. They volunteered to cook moussaka for main, I had made soup for first course on the sly while cooking the day before for a dinner party with Paula, Ethan and Geoff (lovely evening). 
So when the doorbell rang, Colman thought it was the babysitter, but was genuinely surprised to see Danny and Akemi in chef’s hats bearing ingredients!
Family Outing
We took Esme to the Aquarium of the Bay at Fisherman’s Wharf.
This features prominently in her Good Night San Francisco book so about time we checked it out. Not very big, the main draw is the two tank tunnels you walk through with fish from the Bay Area swimming above and around you.
The first depicts the near-shore habitat (schools of anchovies and colourful sea stars). Esme loved walking on the ledge, curious about the Rock Fish resting at her eye level on a ledge inside the tanks. The second tank had creatures of the deeper water such as Leopard Shark, Sevengill Shark and Bat Rays. She felt a starfish at the touch pools.Beautiful Ballet
The SF Ballet is very good but performs Jan-May only. I saw Programme One with Armani and Christine, which included Balanchine’s timeless neoclassical masterpiece The Four Temperaments and a fluid modern new work, Diving into the Lilacs.
Sophia and I loved our Swan Lake night out, the house was packed to the gunwales and the atmosphere very good, the audience lapping up the new sets and the iconic choreography. The music resonated in our heads all the way home.As we walked up our street, we heard a very different dance sound emanating from a neighbour’s. Sophia went home, but I wandered into the house party which turned out to be a benefit for a documentary film ($10 voluntary contribution on admission). I missed the rough cut screening (phew) but arrived in time to shake a tail feather.
It was fascinating, voyeuristically dancing in the corner of the room to an iTunes 80s mix, while the Bright Young Things of SF cavorted, conversed and caroused. My theory is that the 80s was the last time music was mass, so everybody knows the tracks, however ‘good’ or ‘bad’ they may be, useful for filling the dancefloor. I’m old enough to remember how uncool Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up and Michael Jacksons’ PYT were the first time… and here was I cutting a rug in fine style (it had been over 6 months since I went dancing). Hmm…
However, my wiggling didn’t go unnoticed: the host warmly thanked me for coming along and providing such positive dancing energy in the sitting room, the DJ insisted on getting his picture taken with me to commemorate the occasion. Classic San Francisco! Back home someone would suspiciously ask how I knew the host to suss out my legitimacy. As half midnight approached, discretion won over valour and I trooped home, tired but happy.One Year of Lelli
Kristan and I celebrated one year of Lelli looking after our lovely babies in time-honoured tradition: by drinking wine at our gaff. We were joined by the menfolk: Steve, Antonio and Colman. It was lovely to mark the moment and thank Lelli for her exemplary care of our treasures.Top
Mural of the Month
Stencil of the Month
Bumper Sticker of the MonthLove and hugs
Nadine, Colman and Esme xxx
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