HALLO, I LOVE YOUDearest Family and Friends
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October HighlightsBuying Nothing
And I’ve Still Got Nothing to Wear…Inspired by Vogue documentary, The September Issue, I took a long, hard look at my wardrobe, and carried out an audit.
It was quite revealing.
Despite not buying any clothes this year, and only 2 pairs of shoes, it was sobering to see how many clothes and accessories I do own.
Some of these I’ve had for over 25 years – which is indicative of how long these items last – very little have actually worn out this year.
The tally was 15 dresses and 9 evening dresses, 19 shirts, 21 pairs of trousers, 12 skirts, 23 tops, 20 cardigans, 13 jackets (one of which is my 1940s tailored worsted, the first piece of vintage I ever bought, £8 in 1984, and still fits like a glove), 4 evening jackets, 11 trouser suits, 12 coats, 13 jumpers, 6 tops and 7 pants for yoga, 4 swimming costumes, 7 nightdresses, 2 pyjamas, 2 shorts, 4 shawls, 4 fleeces, 2 corsets, 1 cape, 2 ponchos, 1 ski outfit, 10 hats, 8 pairs of boots (plus my Wellingtons back home), 7 pairs of shoes, 7 high heels, 5 pairs of sandals, 2 pairs of slippers and 2 of gym shoes, 5 belts and 12 bags. And my wedding dress in the attic of our house.
That’s a lot.There is an oft-held statistic that women wear 30% of their wardrobe 70% of the time. This is probably a generous statistic, in my case I hope it is more like 60:40, but in truth we could all wear those under-used garments lurking at the back of the closet more often.
Which I am doing with some success. Especially on the trouser suit front, which are a legacy from my Big Job days 10 years ago. They have been languishing without favour all this time but worn as separates, they have a new lease of life.Expect me to wear hats and jackets more often as well. Tailoring works with my shape, and covers a multitude of sins.
But the audit did prompt me to cull 16 items with a few more on probation (including some of those unworn items) – the ambition is to be able to actually shut the wardrobe door. Quality over quantity from now on.
Yes, I am yearning for January the 2nd 2010 when I can go clothes shopping once more – second hand only naturally. Once an addict, always an addict… Still, my year is nowhere near as hard-core as some – check out this chap whose lifestyle change is very drastic, having chosen to live without money.
Perhaps this current economic downturn has some tangible benefits? If it redirects our values from the acquisition of things towards the appreciation of experience. Which also benefits the environment.
We need to change our mindsets because Everything’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy, our privileged lifestyle is wasted on this “world of spoiled idiots.”As my year is coming to an end, I do feel my thinking has altered – yes homewares and clothes still summon me, yet I am able to resist their lures for other pastimes.
Free Thing of the Month
I've been loving the wonderful autumnal sunrises - this one in particular was spectacular with the new moon and Venus in conjuction.
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Livin’ in the City
Hardly Strictly Bluegrass
This free festival happens every year on the first weekend of October across six stages in Golden Gate Park.A celebration of music from bluegrass to blues and beyond, the event has been paid for by local venture capitalist Warren Hellman since 2001 – lucky San Francisco!
We travelled by bus singing ‘all the people on the bus are packed in tight’ to amuse Esme as we performed contortions to squeeze in and hold on.
Thanks go to Annie and Todd who got there early and secured an excellent spot at the Star Stage. A simply beautiful day, first up we saw Elvis Perkins in Dearland, a son of Anthony Perkins and folk-rock exponent.
Then we were joined by Armani, Geoff and Marcus plus heaps of their friends over the next few hours – including Christine. 
Next were multi-Grammy award winners The Chieftains whom I had never seen live. 
They performed a wide-ranging set, which encompassed a local Mariachi band, a local marching band, and Irish dancers from Canada and New York who had flown in especially for the set.Adam joined us in time for funk and jazz jam group Galactic, who really rocked the crowd, pleasing us all with their surprise guest, Booker T!
On the way home we caught 20 minutes of Marianne Faithfull - a hugely successful first Hardly Strictly Bluegrass for us!
Decompression
The following Sunday was much less sunny, in fact uncharacteristically chilly and grey. Still we were determined to attend the Decompression event in the Dogpatch neighbourhood.
Described by Burning Man as ‘taking one more communal plunge into the depths of what we found so affirming and memorable about this year’s Burn season’.
It is also a fundraiser for BM, as well as an opportunity to reconnect with friends – a reunion but also a ‘participatory celebration of art and community’. What I’m only just realizing is that there are many smaller events throughout California, and indeed the world, throughout the year, inspired by and in association with Burning Man.
Esme wore her ESME dress from Jen, and her leopardskin coat – also from Jen – plus her new leggings from Auntie Niamh; we dressed up in sharp suits and wide-brimmed hats, qualifying for reduced price entry for being in costume.
It was an interesting event, one that didn’t exactly reach BM’s exalted heights, perhaps not helped by the weather being in total contrast to conditions at Burning Man. 
Some things worked: there were a few art pieces from the playa present such as the Mexican style pyramid; lots of photos were displayed along walls and in installations (I liked the excellent composite pictures very much); it was great to have wide-eyed Esme with us at an acrobatics display, wandering among the art, interacting and observing.It was nice to see more kids, and really good to see friends including Adam and Jen as well as Josh and Maggie, both looking terrific as usual.
Some things didn’t work so well – the fluffy shin guard is a fashion accessory I’ve not embraced, but I’m very much in the minority in these circles. And there was something slightly tawdry about some outfits when not seen in the heat and dust of Black Rock City.
The chap dressed as a chicken dusted off his costume to great effect.
There were people on stilts, a live parrot, plenty of head-dresses, and a wonderful display of footwear of the boot variety.Two naked chaps nodded at each other in mutual recognition of a fellow lunatic.
But what grated the most was the music. There were probably 7 sound systems stretched along the long and narrow site (adjacent to the freeway), of which 5 were playing banging techno and trance – most of which were art cars seen on the playa pleasingly – but the difference being that here you were a trapped audience.
I discovered one at the far end playing reggae; at the other extremity was a stage with live music. But the cacophony between prevented us from leaving the park area to save Esme’s eardrums, so we had to trade off to explore the site.
And all too soon, before things had really got going, we had to leave.On the way out I saw a big floor map of the playa which was great - someone had helpfully written ASS Camp!
And we did have lots of happy memories flooding back.
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Visitors of the Month
Pat and Niamh
Pat and Niamh had a month long American Tour, which took them from coast to coast, in sunshine and rain, and most importantly, meant that they saw six out of eight grandchildren.
We provided the final leg of the trip – just under a week. Esme has grasped the concept that everybody has a mama and a daddy and that these two are her daddy’s mama and daddy, Granny and Papa, whereas the others are Granny and Granpa.
They and Patrick and Clare gave some very useful and much appreciated birthday presents – books and stickers.
Esme and I took them to the California Academy of Sciences, one of the 10 largest museums of natural history in the world.
Where we plunged the depths of the seas in their state of the art aquarium…
ascended through the rainforest dome full of butterflies…
and climbed to the top of the platinum-certified LEED building to marvel at its green roof, which employs native plants and engineered drainage, photovoltaic electrical generation, and undulates to reflect the hills of San Francisco and house the biomes below, while skylights provide daylight for the museum underneath. Nice views as well!
One night we enjoyed a Thai dinner with Mary, Bebe and Ned, followed by a concert by the Philharmonia Baroque Orchestra at the beautiful Herbst Theatre where the UN declaration was signed in 1945.
On another evening Danny and Akemi came up from the South Bay to join us for dinner. Very nice to see them indeed.
And we spent a couple of lovely low key dinners at home, catching up, eating too much, and putting the world to rights.Expedition of the Month - Point Reyes National Seashore
This odd-shaped peninsula, almost an island, just over an hour North of San Francisco, is one of our favourite places in NorCal.
It is on a different tectonic plate to the rest of Marin County, so has different soils and some different vegetation. It is separated from the mainland by long inlet, Tomales Bay, which occupies a rift valley created by the San Andreas Fault.
The whole area is now a national preserve and has wonderful views, headlands, estuaries, uplands, woods, coastal beaches, birds and rugged beauty.
Our first stop was Bear Valley where we ambled around the Earthquake Trail loop that runs directly over the San Andreas Fault, with informative display panels, and the fence which was pulled 18 feet apart after the 1906 earthquake.
Followed by a picnic lunch and another walk streamside along the Bear Valley Trail through dappled autumn sunlight in the woods.
Then we drove to the reclusive Bolinas whose artistic and eccentric denizens, allegedly, tear down road signs to the town to preserve their unique community.
Here we gazed at the ocean and the patient surfers, waiting for that elusive wave, before heading back up to Inverness for dinner with our friends, Dave and Cathy, and to stay in their stylishly laid back home.We pitched our tent on their deck – much to Esme’s great excitement.
Just as Colman received great congratulations for having managed to get her to settle to sleep, a little sprite came slithering out of the tent and crawling back into the house!
We had a superb meal (Cathy is a phenomenal cook) and relaxed conversation all evening – Pat and Niamh loved it.The next morning, Esme and I went with Cathy to her flower garden to help gather blooms for the wedding they were going off to later.
So many exquisite flowers including marigolds, zinnias and sunflowers.
Esme managed to hold a bouquet, got very excited by the neighbour’s dogs, and looked a picture among the vivid green, gold and red rows.
Restaurant of the Month
Then we all squashed back into the car to drive across Marin, Sonoma and Napa for lunch at the Michelin-starred restaurant housed within the swanky Mediterranean-inspired Auberge du Soleil hotel.Last year, Colman’s cousin Emily and husband, Niall, had stayed at our place for a few nights and had most generously given us a voucher towards a meal here, and so it seemed the perfect opportunity to treat Pat and Niamh, and ourselves too!
I had booked the last setting for brunch, and after some very undignified scrambling changing into smarter outfits in the car while parking valets tried not to turn their noses up at us, we sailed to our table on the terrace with a view down the Napa Valley.
We all started with an aperitif – Niamh and I went for a delicious bellini.
Three of us had the Onion Tartelette, Smoked Salmon, Crème Fraiche, Watercress from the Beginnings menu.
We all chose differently from the Sustenance menu: Niamh scored with the Duck Confit Hash, Poached Eggs, Yukon Gold Potatoes; Colman loved his Florida Shrimp Risotto, Heirloom Tomatoes, Tarragon, Yuzu Emulsion; Pat enjoyed Buttermilk Pancakes, Blueberries, Smoked Bacon; I chose the Basil Crusted Rabbit, Green Olives, Goat Cheese Stuffed Squash Blossoms – all very nice but I suffered dish envy.
After wandering off Esme was persuaded to come back to the table by the promise of singing Happy Birthday to Papa. I had tipped off the staff this was his 80th birthday celebration, so his intricately presented dessert had Happy Birthday written on the plate in chocolate and he got to blow out his one (tactful) candle.
Several times. For Esme’s benefit.
Thanks very much to Emily and Niall, and to Pat and Niamh for coming to see us in San Francisco.
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Family Fun
Bouverie PreserveI took Colman on a surprise – to this Preserve in Sonoma, closed to the public, only open on certain weekend days if you signed up for the guide-led nature walk.
Initially grey and chilly, a small group of us (including two well-informed teenagers) meandered along trails through the preserve stopping to look at wasp galls, bushy lichen, harvester ant trails, a small stand of redwood and varying species of oak.
Esme rode happily on Colman’s back, we gave her found objects to play with – her favourites were the large Wild Turkey feathers.We followed a stream for a while, marvelling at water boatmen, the intensely green algae, and the interplay of light and leaves on the water.
There was magic in the morning amble. Despite the autumnal feel with a sense of decay in the air and with few birds seen, yet one felt serene, still and a very rich recipient of nature’s bounty.
Sandcastle Contest
A less successful outing was to Ocean Beach for the biggest sandcastle building contest in Northern California.No taxis so hired a zipcar, got stuck in traffic, couldn’t find anywhere to park, arrived on the beach on a sunny day to find a howling wind.
Billed as ‘a spirited competition’ involving Bay Area elementary schools (plus their ambitious teachers and parents), we were astonished at the sheer scale and complexity of the sandcastles. Many sponsored by engineers, architects, contractors and local construction companies. 
This year’s theme was Classic Children’s Books, and the Hungry Caterpillar was well represented in its 40th year. There was also a Seuss tableau, Winnie the Pooh, the Three Little Pigs sitting on the Wolf, and the winner of the top prize, a Wild Thing in repose.Every team was in fact awarded something - whether ‘Most Terrific’, ‘Best Water Engineering’ or ‘Best Feel Good Sandcastle’.
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Esme the Social Queen
There is now evidence that our daughter has some of my genes after all. Hitherto she has been completely Daddy’s girl – in good looks, sweet temperament, fearsome intelligence – but gratifyingly she loves a good party.
Puddle Jumpers Workshop, her coop pre-school, is becoming a big focus. She really enjoys her time there three days a week, and gets on well with the other kids. 
One newer mother told me that she had been told Esme was the ‘best of them all’, which made my heart soar. Naturally when I’m on shift she’s not so cute... 
Our first field trip was to Clancy’s Pumpkin Patch.
Georgianne and Sophie Lee kindly drove us.
A time-honoured American institution, a pumpkin patch is where you wander through rows and artistic piles of pumpkins and squash of every shape, size and knobble. And buy some.
They had constructed a tunnel system from straw bales, which intrigued Esme enormously although she was not brave enough to actually crawl through.
The ‘highlight’ was a hay ride on a wagon pulled by a tractor. Which consisted of us being driven for five minutes around a field full of somewhat manky old dolls, soft toys and Halloween themed tat while we drank in diesel fumes. At $2 a head, the words money and old rope spring to mind. Naturally the kids loved it.
A great first outing. And good to experience a genuine American family tradition.We had a playdate with Tracy and Isis
- the girls were in raptures to see each other!
We’ve spent time with Liz and Alex in the park and who we keep bumping into on the street.
Esme really likes Alex and always squeals with great excitement when she sees her, loves holding her hand, and posing for photos together.Jamie and Bryson had a lovely housewarming party.
Their excellent new home has superb views over Noe Valley and towards Twin Peaks.
Sophia and Ava were there too.
Ava was lovely with Esme – they played together very sweetly, getting covered in felt tip pen.Esme had just had a drastic haircut so was looking like 70s skater, Dorothy Hamill.
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Halloween
It gets bigger every year seemingly. My Pilates teacher had devil horns and an angel halo on during my class. The local Walgreens pharmacy had signs up saying ‘during holiday season you are asked to remove your mask before entering the store’. Houses were festooned with cobwebs, spiders, bats, ghosts, ghouls, witches. At school Esme got to make a ghost, paint a pumpkin and decorated a skull with glitter. We even went to dinner in a swanky restaurant with an elf. Or rather Gerardo dressed up as one.
Esme’s favourite phrase ‘oh look!’ was deployed frequently. She was very tickled at the idea of candles inside a jack o’ lantern.
With Armani and Marcus we went shopping for kid’s Halloween outfits after a fun playground session – shopping for Esme is allowed if second-hand. 
This was the first year that Esme really grasped the concept of costume. Although through living in San Francisco where people dress up for the opening of a fridge door, she has had plenty of exposure to weird and wonderful outfits.
I bought her a black cat suit with a tail and feather collar and cuffs on both hands and feet for $4!All week I primed her: what are you going to be? A cat? What does a cat say? What will you say when dressed up as a cat?
At school they had a dress up day so she wore her kimono (more practical); Colman was too embarrassed to say she was a geisha so said she was a Jedi instead!
And then on the day before Halloween we walked home past Tom’s friend, Deep, a mover and flashmob shaker about town, who was assembling his Halloween costume – the Deepasaurus – in his garage doorway. Esme was both repelled and fascinated at the sight of this green monster with long tail, fetching green-stocking clad legs, and a large papier mache head with fearsome teeth.
All the way home she asked if she could be a dinosaur rather than a cat. Deep was delighted when told: ‘my work here is done!’
Chris and Darcy, parents of Puddle Jumper Bella, have an annual Halloween party. And so the moment arrived to get the cat suit on – alas, it was too small.
Luckily in the back of the wardrobe I found a small tutu – Lord knows where it came from – but Esme was persuaded to wear it along with her pink glitter shoes.All the way there: ‘you’re a ballerina, you’re a ballet dancer, you’re a ballerina…’
I was a space age vixen with blonde wig. Other children were gnomes, pirates, dragons. A fun party! On the 31st itself we walked over to Duboce Park where there was a bouncy castle, Esme a ballerina once more.
We met up with Armani, unrecognisable in a superb wig, and Marcus who eschewed his bear costume as it was too hot.Thereafter we retired to Geoff and Armani’s where the kids ran around and we caught up with Christine and Fred.
Before heading home for neighbourly drinks and nibbles with Tom, Kim, Bogie and Saal, Esme in her element, showing off yoga poses before bed – perhaps another example of a genetic predisposition?
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Bird of the Month
Esme is starting to commune with nature - another maternal trait, yay! – as shown here.She can now distinguish between several species including owl, swallow, gull, pigeon/dove, heron, pelican, hummingbird, woodpecker, jay, crow/raven, toucan, parrot, sparrow and hoopoe. Propaganda pays off!
The best birding of the month was on our visit to raptor- and shorebird-rich Point Reyes National Seashore, although no new Life Birds were sighted.
Dave showed me the (semi) private path down to Tomales Bay complete with convenient birdwatching bench.
So on the Sunday morning I spent a tranquil 45 minutes beside fog-shrouded reeds, thickets and willows, with White Pelicans in formation in the distance over the Bay. The Marsh Wren Cistothorus palustris is heard before seen with its distinctive gurgling trill, but I saw several – the prominent white eyebrow and stiff upright tail are also identifiers.
In trees at the bottom of the drive I saw a small flock of buzzy Townsend’s Warblers Dendroica townsendi, whose yellow and black striped heads gleamed in the gloom.Then a happy half an hour debating whether the sparrows singing lustily were the Song Melospiza melodia or Savannah Passerculus sandwichensis variety. Both were strong candidates for the streaked chipper little bird, I think they were most likely to be the regional California coast variation of Savannahs but…
On the day before on our walk in Bear Valley , we saw a veritable swarm (well a few anyhow) of Acorn Woodpeckers busily hammering nuts into their granary trees for the winter.
Within a quarter of an hour we saw the ubiquitous Turkey Vultures, Red-tailed Hawks and, a pair of Red Shouldered Hawk Buteo lineatus, wheeling and swooping low above us, showing off their rufous underparts, with an oft-repeated high and clear call – keeyah, keeyah! – this month’s featured bird.
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Mural of the MonthSeen in Bolinas, famed for its maverick spirit and big surfing community.
Stencil of the Month
Bumper Sticker of the Month
Lord, please help me to be the person my dog thinks I am
