WE LEFT OUR HEARTS IN SAN FRANCISCO
Dear Family and Friends
2011 Highlights
Transition
It was a very tough decision, one that we agonised over for many months, but the news that I was pregnant forced us to decide whether we would stay or go.
We weighed up all the pros and cons, did SWOT analyses and concluded:
San Francisco for us is the right city but in the wrong place.
Our family are so far away which meant that we weren’t seeing our parents nor our siblings.
It is important to us that our children have strong family ties and get to forge good relationships with their cousins.
We couldn’t keep renting a very expensive apartment indefinitely,
we wanted to live in our own home.
And despite the many many marvellous attributes and attactions of the Bay Area and NorCal, we felt we had explored a great deal of California and environs
and were hankering after the rich tapestry that is Europe.
Another, secondary, factor was the insanely high costs of third level education in the US which encumber graduate with a weight of debt which all too often reduces life choices upon graduation –
the opposite of what education is supposed to do.
Healthcare costs here are also mindblowingly expensive with access still all too dependent on employment in corporate America.
Not good for the long term.
So we decided to stay in SF through 2011 for the birth to give the baby US citizenship,
for Colman to see out another year shepherding acquisitions and divestments for Yahoo,
and to realise our dream of travelling in South America for 2 months on the way back to London.
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Family
Mum
My mother came to visit for a fortnight in April. Highlights included her bonding with Esme…
And our stay in Point Reyes, right on the shores of Tomales Bay in Dancing Coyote Beach where we hiked in beautiful, blustery conditions and had a lovely evening with Dave and Cathy.
Point Reyes is really our favourite spot close to SF and we shall miss coming up here hugely.
We also explored some beautiful tide pools just south of SF.Ithaca
There was a mini Stephenson family reunion in upstate New York for the occasion of the 50th birthday of Patrick (brother no.1).
All American Stephensons were present.
Great for Esme to hang out with her cousins, especially Max, Zack and Thomas.
We enjoyed a lunch party
and Max’s first communion.
We look forward to the full reunion planned for July 2012 in Ireland.
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Friends
We shall so miss our dear friends and the wonderful community we have here in San Francisco – we have such generous folk in our lives here,
including our neighbours, Tom and Kim without whom raising our family would be infinitely harder.
Cherished friends without whom we couldn’t have had such a wonderfully groovy time include
Geoff, Armani and Marcus,
Kristan, Steve, Soren and Gaby,
Lelli and Toni,
Sophia, Gerardo and Ava,
Dan and Dayna,
Marcus, Kristin, Max and Vivi, 
’Deep and Kimberly,
Danny and Akemi,
Adam and Jen,
Liz and Nicole,
Jen, Greg and Russell,
the Puddle Jumpers community
and newest friends met through Esme’s pre-school, Holy Family -
especially Sadie and Azaria and their families.
DLG
The Drinking Ladies Group have been the one of the very best parts of my life here in San Francisco. We meet every Thursday (attendance is not compulsory;
I usually go about half the time) normally in someone’s house, sometimes a bar,
and drink cheap wine, consume food, love, support, laugh, cry, honour and cherish our friendship.
We are with each other from the lows to the highs, from the slim to the pregnant and beyond –
and now there is a second generation:
Tracy’s daughter, Isis, and Esme are fast friends and went to Holy Family Day School together.
This fabulous group of ladies (and Jason) will be a hard act to follow
but it is my intention to start up a London DLG in the spring – all comers welcome!
Luke and Anna’s Wedding
One of the highlights of the year was going to Santa Barbara
and the Sideways country around it for our friends in LA -
Luke and Anna –
who finally got hitched after 10 years together
and had a destination wedding in the middle of the Santa Inez mountains near to Neverland Ranch.
We had a wonderful weekend exploring this hitherto unvisited area of California
(including the original Santa Barbara Mission)
and Esme did so well to stay up and party until 10pm in her best dress.
Wine Night Gang
Colman started this with Patrick and Dave soon after we arrived in SF. And we got together every couple of months or so,
latterly timed for when Morgan is back in town since he moved to London to be with Catherine.
Including the annual Derby Day party at Patrick and Catherine’s place.
Our experiments have shown that drinking wine on a regular basis improves fertility. Top
Visitors
Charlie and Nicola
We were delighted that Charlie, Nicola, Jessica and Louis came to visit us in April. Most intrepidly, they drove a circuit from LA up to SF and back in a superb vintage VW camper van.
We visited Muir Beach and I treated them to the Alcatraz tour.Fabulous to see them.
Jane, Kay and Zoe
This glamorous trio came in the autumn – 
Jane for a longish stay –
and the other two specifically for Halloween and Day of the Dead.
Costumes were worn with great invention and enthusiasm!
And it was a great excuse for me to carry on shopping frenetically as I did all autumn – I will really miss the wonderful array of vintage and second-hand clothes shops on my doorstep –
at least a dozen within a 10-minute walk.
Other visitors included Catherine Pring, Cathy Ryan, Simon Kingston,
Peter Harkness,
Chris Selth,
Nick Riddett (who stayed for a month which was great), 
Ian Vollmer, JD Carpienteri,
Maike Harms, Sean Lynn and Jeremy Jones-Bateman and Anthony Rhind.
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Cormac Arthur Mellor Stephenson
It wasn’t an easy pregnancy. I felt terrible through the first trimester, very low in energy and distinctly grumpy. I had a suspected miscarriage in January;
my GYN/OB said afterwards she had never seen anybody so astonished as me when told there was a baby still in there and moreover that the pregnancy was a month further along than I had calculated!
The second trimester was marred by being put on near bed rest, but all tests proved encouraging, and eventually I felt better. Although I was in denial about the baby being a boy, which merely produced lots of pictures of a penis every time I went for a scan – the medical staff thinking I wanted proof.
By this time Colman and I were arguing – the worst ever in our marriage – about the name.
I had chosen one, he had not; I wanted the first name, so did he.
And sharing the uselessness and annoyance of my husband with my friends got back to him, which didn’t make for a harmonious home.
Crowned by me asking him to ask Esme what she thought; when she parroted the name I wanted it was nearly divorce.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Colman so hopping mad.
It was his turn to workshop the terrible behaviour of his wife to all and sundry.
This culminated in me crying hard in a restaurant at 9 months pregnant when on our monthly date night, other diners looking at him disapprovingly.
Every week the baby was pushed head down but kept bobbing up sideways, in a transverse lie,
which is unusual, and a potentially fatal situation in labour.
So a date was made for induction on the 7th July.
We made our peace three days before, Colman won the right to name the baby.
Birth
Tom looked after Esme for 48 hours while I went into St Luke’s. Induction is a rather mechanical and unpleasant process. I had a Foley bulb inserted and the end pinned to the sheets, plus pitocin on a drip. It took 5 hours to dilate to 3cm; then it was discovered that baby had bobbed sideways AGAIN.
So he was shoved head down, a corset placed on my middle to keep him that way, the waters broken with a crochet hook and we expected the pace to pick up.
Armani was my birth partner, and I can testify to her excellent massage skills, but the contractions slowed right down. So the midwife told me to rest as I hadn’t dilated any further. Armani went home, I had morphine and slept for an hour waking to the most full on excruciating pain at 1am. It was than the most intense two hours as I went from 3cm to 10cm, and just as I thought I really can’t bear this any more, they said you're fully dilated, push.
Cormac Arthur Mellor Stephenson was born at 3.53am on the 8th July, 7lb7oz.
It was lucky Armani came back as I wouldn’t have been awake when we noticed Cormac turning blue, unless I had been making an effort to talk to her.
He was whisked away for a couple of hours while they cleared out his lungs.
But since then he defines a picture of health. 
He gained weight rapidly (milk monster!) in the first 2-3 months shooting up to 80th percentile, and is now 17lb8oz, around the 60th percentile.
He is sweet, mellow, and easy going (although he gave up taking a bottle, grrr), with a shy smile and big eyes with which he watches the world.
Esme adores him, too much so sometimes as she smothers him with kisses.
My mother came back after the birth and stayed for 3 weeks which was a great help and we managed a few excursions with her.
And for those who ask, that’s it.
We are done. Two is enough!
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Birthdays and Parties
ColmanColman celebrated his 40th in style. He hired out local food emporium Bi-rite’s community space, 18 Reasons,
and hosted close friends for a sumptuous four-course dinner, cooked by dear friend Jen Moyse, wine matched all the way.
It was a very special evening.
I choked up during my speech but raised a cheer when describing how he still has lead in his pencil even at the ripe old age of 40, pointing to my swelling belly.
Colman also took his Wine School exams and passed with Distinction and Merit – I’m extremely proud of him.
We had our joint birthday party as part of the February Festivities of Nadine and Colman.And hosted the Oscars for the last time.
Colman won the Golden ‘Gina to his astonishment.
Tom turned up as a Black Swan to everybody else’s.Esme
Esme’s 4th birthday party was in complete contrast: about 60 kids and adults crammed in to the apartment, the kids in costumes rampaging around and bouncing on the bed.
It was great fun.
She can do extreme bolshiness to excruciating shyness: the former on show during the party yet the latter was on display at the moment she was expected to blow out the candles on her cake;
Colman did the honours for her.
It was the first time she had not shared her birthday with Marcus; instead we all had a weekend in the Sierra foothills at a friend's house - superb relaxation and poolside fun.
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Adventures
Big SurI went on a review trip for i-escape.com to Big Sur and Carmel for a few days.
I can thoroughly recommend the spectacular Post Ranch Inn which has an incomparable situation high above the Pacific Ocean (I saw a whale spouting obligingly below), fabulous rustic chic suites, wonderful food and service.
Lying in my infinity-edged hot tub on my private balcony with binoculars in hand – it doesn’t get much better.
Babymoon in YosemiteYosemite National Park is one of the most fabulous places on the planet
and we were determined to see it one last time.This intent coincided with Gayani and Rob coming to stay and their desire to see Yosemite.
For our first night we shared their tent/cabin in Housekeeping Camp, right beside the Merced River in the valley.
And then we all moved (via the stupendous views from Glacier Point)
to Evergreen Lodge near Hetch Hetchy
so that Colman could see that part of Yosemite for the first time.
Most excitingly, we saw a black bear for the first time!!!!
Esme spotted it first and I ran towards it as fast as my bump would allow but it loped off into the trees.
All the waterfalls were going gangbusters as there had been 175% of snowpack that winter.
Pleasingly, Maria, Randall and Zella who also wanted a babymoon before the arrival of their second daughter, Addis, were camping in the valley nearby.
Gayani and Rob headed for overnight camping in back country; we were reunited in San Francisco before they headed home.
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Camping with the Lawsons
An annual fixture, this year we went to Clear Lake State Park; the weather wasn’t great and Esme was unusually unwell, it wasn’t the best of our adventures.
So we had a rematch on Labor Day weekend at Salt Point State Park on the Sonoma county coast.
Again the weather was poor – thick sea fog shrouded us all weekend. And we were camping with a 7-week old baby. The only real issue was that it was so damp we couldn’t put him on the ground, someone had to hold him.
Luckily Rob and Jecca proved to be enthusiastic baby-holders.
Esme’s shyness of the bigger boys wore off over the weekend,
they clambered over scalloped weathered rocks with alacrity.
In a very California gesture, some Burners just arrived from Burning Man gave her a set of fairy wings.
We had a tearful farewell and hope we will camp with the Lawsons on another continent sometime.
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Zion and Bryce National Parks – UtahOur best adventure was our last of the year and our time in the US.
Stunning clear skies and bright sunshine, beautiful fall weather.
We flew to Las Vegas, hired a car and drove three hours into Utah to Zion National Park, named by the Mormons.
The park’s highlight is a fabulous deep gorge cut by the Virgin River through layers of sandstone in the arid country of the Mojave Desert and Colorado Plateau where it meets the Great Basin.
We had one night here and nearly two days.
Enough to hike along the side of the canyon for a few hours (Esme under protest for the middle section),
visit Weeping Rock,
marvelling at the high tops (some capped with white limestone), and hanging out by the river.
Then we drove through weathered Utah another two hours north-east to unique Bryce Canyon National Park, which is not a canyon as such,
but a vast elongated and undulating amphitheatre formed by the erosion of a high sandstone plateau into orange white and red hoodoos
- sculpted stacks of sedimentary rocks.
Here we had a full day and a half and two nights. Esme was bored by the views but interested in the geology and her incessant questioning leads us to suspect a career in science may beckon.
She was most taken by the hotel swimming pool and hot tub though, which we braved despite the chilly afternoon temperatures. Such spectacular scenery and geological formations will live long in our memories.
Esme’s favourite scenery, however, was the ”beautiful buildings” and lights of Vegas as seen from the aeroplane as we flew back into SF for the last time.
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Birds of the Year
Birding opportunities were less plentiful this year but a few new Life Birds were sighted.
On our babymoon in Yosemite, the shy but glorious Hermit Warbler (endroica occidentalis) was revealed.
In October I went on a stunning whale watching/birding boat trip out as far as the Farallon Islands (25 miles offshore)in the hope of seeing albatrosses for the first time.
This was not to be as the warm weather was sublime, not a cloud in the sky and not enough wind for albatrosses;
Humpback Whale, Gray Whale, Risso Dolphin, sunfish, sealion were seen instead.
I did spy the small chunky Cassin’s Auklet (Ptychoramphus aleuticus) and the elegantly flashy Buller's Shearwater (Puffinus bulleri), both Life Birds.
In Bryce and Zion, great excitement in the car after we saw a Golden Eagle (Aquila chrysaetos) soaring above us,
but truthfully we cannot swear to it being so as when we turned the car around to get a better look, it had floated away.
But we definitely did see the discreet thrush Townsend’s Solitaire (Myadestes townsendi).
And in our last week in San Francisco we went on an organised bird outing to Lake Merritt in Oakland with the Kirsh family; the first time I’d seen a Canvasback (Aythya valisineria) duck.
From Anna’s Hummingbirds in the garden all year round to Brown Pelicans in the Bay,
I shall sorely miss California’s Great Outdoors and its wonderful varied birdlife.
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Farewell San Francisco
Our highly emotional long goodbyes included Thanksgiving at Dan and Dayna’s -
fantastic food and charming conviviality with their nearest and dearest
including Boo and Alain.
We hosted our last House Party.
And Farewell Drinks in the Tenderloin.Esme and I made sure we didn't depart before our annual visit to the Nutcracker at the Opera House -
Alex joined us with Marcus, Armani, Sophia and Ava.
(Ballet has featured quite a lot this year
both with classes with Vivi
a recital...
and living room performances,
she and Colman have a fabulous pas de deux.)
We also arranged for ex-Puddle Jumpers, Stella and Maite,
to join us in paying homage to the annually magnificent Tom and Jerry's Christmas Tree on 21st
Christmas Day was spent with Armani, Geoff, and Marcus
at Paula and Ethan’s
after an uplifting and rousing church service at Gospel church Glide in the morning.
We head now for South America for two months on a well-earned holiday travelling to Argentina, Uruguay and Brazil.
We land in London – Insh’allah – on the 26th February for the next stage of life in our new incarnation as a family in our home town.
We shall never forget our five fabulous years of adventures galore and wonderful new friends,
four years as parents, three years of being a trio,
getting to know and cherish the Bay Area,
two gorgeous American children, and one Burning Man.
It's been totally awesome!!!!!
THANK YOU SAN FRANCISCO
