Dearest Family and Friends
57 Cumberland Street, San Francisco CA 94110
Phone Number: +1 415 738 2112
July Highlights
Buying Nothing
Buying Nothing
In many ways the project is a proving to be a success – not least because it has turned out to be easier than I thought.However, my urge to buy more clothes is getting stronger – many of my garments are originally second-hand so are really starting to wear out now. Yes that was the aim, but I’m not loving the reality of looking dishevelled.
Acquiring Stuff
For our trip overseas I knew I had to buy colouring books and stickers to keep Esme amused on the plane. Unfortunately these items cannot be second hand so a trip to Walgreens was required.It was on our walk down the aisle of Children’s Plastic Toys and Ephemeral Tat that Esme for the first time began to desire goods in a shop. It was a job to divert her from the display. I doubt this Buying Nothing lark would be so easy in a year from now.
And, confession time, I noticed that the Lost and Found boxes at the yoga and Pilates studios have a polite notice on them saying please collect or these things will be taken to Goodwill at the end of the month.
So when I realised over a few weeks that people hadn’t claimed anything, including a bottle of baby’s milk that, frankly, needed urgent attention, I liberated several items. Apart from the bottle, I took home some rubber shoes that are a fraction big but extremely useful for camping and Burning Man, a very cool top perfect for exercise classes, a brown camisole top that on closer inspection had lots of holes in it, black yoga pants which hopefully will replace my threadbare ones, a perfectly sized metal water bottle, and a good dose of guilt.Experience of the Month
Colman and I have realised that we need to spend more time together and get out of the domestic routine. So have vowed to spend Tuesdays together just hanging out.
So this means not going back to the computer after dinner if we’re staying in and just talking to each other, taking time out from the endless task list.
Our first Date Night was really lovely. We downloaded our thoughts, shared reminiscences, made future plans and checked in with each other. And all for the cost of a home-cooked meal.We look forward to more Tuesdays together.
Freebies of the MonthWe have also been the lucky beneficiaries of outgrown children’s clothes for Esme from our friends and relations in London and here. Esme likes to remember/be told that these dresses/knickers/shoes/hats/tops are from Saumya, Lizzie, Stella or Rose – thanks so very much Shital, Louise, Jane and Sonia!
At Jessica and Alex’s wedding they thoughtfully provided small champagne-shaped bottles of bubbles, which have kept Esme amused ever since.
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Visitors of the Month
Pete and Glenda
Very wonderfully Pete and Glenda came to stay with us for a long weekend, from their holiday to Vancouver. It was really superb to see them and they rose to the occasion and seemed to relish the packed schedule prepared for them.
On their first night I took Glenda to the DLG, a worthy candidate if ever there was one, while Pete stayed at home with Colman and sank a few bottles.The boys were more sozzled than we were on our return.
On their first full day, Friday 3rd July, we took them up to Twin Peaks for a view over the city, a good (if breezy) introduction to the unique Bay Area geography. 
Then down to Crissy Fields for views of the Golden Gate Bridge, somewhat shrouded due to the morning fog, and Alcatraz.
Colman and Esme chose to rest their eyes in the car while Pete, Glenda and I strolled along the foreshore.
We followed this up with the Mission Murals tour, slightly shorter version than usual, but enjoyed by all, especially with the addition of a couple of good new ones in the heart of the Mission.
Dependence Day BBQ
That afternoon our whole house, us plus Tom, Kim and Saal, hosted a garden gathering in honour of Pete and Glenda and the public holiday commemorating some ancient victory in early US history. 
Of course many folk were out of town on travels and trips, but the good turnout nonetheless enjoyed the delights of the BBQ manned by Tom and Colman, and in particular Saal’s Cantina on the first floor where a variety of free-flowing lethal cocktails were prepared and imbibed.
The afternoon started quite sedately with the family crowd. We welcomed new friends, Vivienne and her parents, Marcus and Kristin.
As well as old friends, Jonathan, and John, Laurel & Ruby. 
Armani was out of town but Geoff and Marcus had a superb time.Marcus charmed everybody, including Esme, with his excellent dancing.
Arne and Cati flew the flag for the Wine Group.
And then the DLG and associates arrived in batches and droves for the evening session which turned into an epic event.Luckily none of them were out of town and even more luckily Abby had flown in that day from NYC to join us.
Esme loved staying up with the big girls and demonstrated her credentials quite admirably.As the night wore on, emotions became heightened.
Girls were hugging, slurring words, singing (Blinded by the Light inexplicably for the photo below), crying, giggling and kissing all within reach, much to Tom and Saal’s unexpected delight!
The party moved from the garden to Saal’s Cantina for the final session.
Pete went upstairs for a ‘power nap’ and confounded all expectations by emerging, revived and ready for more action, seemingly now none the worse for wear, greeted by the time-honoured American accolade of ‘Awesome!’
It was probably at least one am by the time we went to bed.
What a superb party! And one still talked of in reverential terms by us all.
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San Francisco Sights
A slower start on the Saturday (!) and a grey day for a visit to the de Young Museum.
Glenda and Esme demonstrated their best frog impersonations and we explored the sculpture garden.
We left P&G in North Beach to do a tour of the Beat poets and Chinatown, taking Esme home for a nap.
Our afternoon and evening were spent with Sophia and Gerardo at the Sunset Party down on a pier by the ballpark, overlooking the bay towards Oakland. 
Pete quickly befriended half the crowd.We all had fun in the photo booth; Glenda, Sophia and I danced and put the world to rights.
Although we didn't see the main fireworks we saw a few random ones nearby, enough to get a flavour of the 4th July.After many hours of hard dancing and an increasingly busy crowd, we called it a day.
The first proper dance session in a year for us…
On Sunday we drove over Golden Gate Bridge into Marin and took them to Muir Woods for a stroll followed by a picnic lunch at Muir Beach. The weather wasn’t that kind, so we only had a short stagger on the beach itself.
Before heading to Point Bonita Lighthouse for a walk and a nose around the C19th structure across its (somewhat rickety) suspension bridge.
Then homewards bound, stopping at the Golden Gate Bridge for a shot of the views where we bumped into Lelli and Toni!
Glenda is a natural at reading with kids.Pete and Glenda’s weekend was brought to a close with Jecca, Adam and Jen over for dinner.
The latter having just driven back from a camp out with no sleep yet managing to be convivial company.
THANK YOU so much for coming to see us! We were thrilled to have you here and to show you a little of our lovely life in San Francisco.
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San Francisco Friends
We joined Colman’s former Whereonearth colleagues, Dev and Soren, plus their families, Shital, Saumya, Shivan and Sandy, in the South Bay .
A chilled Saturday afternoon playing on swings, drinking alcohol, experimenting with tricycles for the first time, eating volumes of EXCELLENT Indian cuisine (really Shital needs a restaurant) and exchanging banter. Congrats to Sandy for her birthday and passing her nursing exams.
We gave Saumya her belated birthday present – very well chosen by Colman on a foray into Chinatown.
The following day we went to the zoo with the lovely Sophia, Gerardo and Ava.
Esme had the best time with Ava who was great with her, very patient.
We had magnificent views of giraffes, storks and bears – both polar and grizzly – the latter waded towards us through his pond in quite terrifying fashion.
We finished up at the petting zoo where goats and sheep roamed boldly eager for snacks. Esme and Ava loved crawling through the prairie dog tunnels.That night our good friend Dan came to dinner as he was filming in the Bay area. It had been three years since we’d last seen each other, and so excellent to catch up.
One Saturday we hosted a Garden Gathering on a beautiful warm afternoon, joined by Kim, Tom, Adam and Jen.
Marcus, Armani and Geoff were on the early shift, overlapping with Ruby, John and Laurel, but missing Soren and Kristan.
Kristan had the bright idea to fill a bucket with water to amuse the children.Soren and Esme had a fine old time splashing each other for hours, both soaked to the skin, and giggling throughout.
The three kids tumbled and bumbled about – it is such a lovely age.
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Esme’s First Hospital Visit
Spending a Pretty Penny
After everybody left, we prepared to go to dinner with Adam and friends. Colman was hanging up his trousers, a copper penny fell out, and Esme started playing with it.
In the next room I heard a gulp and swallow, and dashed over to her.
Esme looked up at me, “money money” and pointed at her mouth.She wasn’t choking but looked unhappy and uncomfortable, even more so after we held her upside down and banged her back.
We phoned the doctor’s helpline, they advised going to A&E to check where the penny was. So we got a taxi to hospital, hurriedly packing a bag.She loved the excitement of a new place initially, and everybody was very kind. Luckily there wasn’t much of a wait and she was an angel during the first X-ray, which showed the penny in the oesophagus, not yet in the stomach.
Various phone calls to specialists established that this was dangerous, that the coin needed to be in the stomach as it could tear the lining of the throat, and furthermore that pennies are a zinc and copper mix so are not advisable in the system at any point.
She was now on nil by mouth. And they told us we needed to go to CPMC for an operation to remove it.So an IV drip needed to be inserted into her arm.
She needed both parents to hold her down, plus two nurses to insert the needle into her little arm, and the first attempts failed to find a vein. She was screaming with pain, hurt, anger and tiredness for minutes and minutes. It was awful. Finally, the needle was fitted into her left hand.
She was catatonic after that. And fell asleep in the ambulance. We journeyed across town looking out at the streets of San Francisco in the dark, chatting with the nice ambulance man who confided that obese patients were a real problem.
CPMC were nearly full due to swine flu but we got our own room. She was very distressed by the bandage on her hand and drip connected to it, but was even more exhausted. So after an initial examination and another X-ray, which showed the coin had now progressed into her stomach, she did fall asleep in her cot.Colman and I spent our last night together for 3 weeks in a single hospital bed beside Esme, worried, tired and interrupted by the vitals checks and by the addition into the room at 4am of a sulky teenage boy.
In the morning she seemed pretty normal, and amazingly calm despite the bandage on her hand, which annoyed her, but she didn’t seem to miss food and fluid intake, mostly she just got on with it. Luckily the playroom was pretty stocked full of toys and tricycles. And even more luckily they had computers so I was able to follow the Lords Test Match over by over commentary. I was glued to the screen as the news unfolded of Australia’s likely defeat at Lords, for the first time in 75 years, while Colman followed Esme round the room pulling her drip with him. Heartless mother…
A third X-ray showed the coin still to be in her tummy and the team were brought in on a Sunday to perform the operation. It was piteous to see her in the theatre, this tiny little body on the gurney with a full team of surgeons and anaesthetists hovering attendance, and she cried as she went under the anaesthetic. 
Of course the op was a success, we have the bright shiny copper penny plus photo of the coin in her stomach as a memento, we were discharged pretty quickly, and by the time we got home just before lunch, she was back to normal – right as rain - here she is that afternoon showing off her plasters. Her parents were totally shattered of course. She did recall the incident for weeks afterwards and if she heard us talking about it would point to her mouth and say 'money, money.'We will be interested to see the co-pay bill for this excellent care after umpteen health care professionals, two hospitals, a drip, an ambulance and an operation were all deployed.
And then Colman went off to the Napa Valley on a work ‘offsite’ ie fun and games for the next four days so he bad an emotional farewell.
Sunday Streets in the Mission happened to be this day, the last Sunday before we went to the UK for 3 weeks.Another beautifully sunny day, it was very cool to see so many (including Maria and Randall) out strolling, cycling and performing, both on wheels and by the road side – streets are blocked off to cars in a route through the neighbourhood.
And as a result the San Francisco Symphony’s annual performance in Dolores Park had a massive crowd.
Esme really loved the music, and after playing on the swings and slides, was happy to watch the orchestra sawing furiously through Beethoven’s 5th.
Obviously a full recovery!
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Lelli and Soren
Kristan and Steve moved to Rockridge in the East Bay in July. 
They are expecting No.2 at the end of September. 
Thus marking the end of our nanny share with Lelli and Soren. Truly the end of an era for us all, and particularly to the Kirsh family as they start a new chapter in the East Bay.
Soren and Esme are close friends now.
It has been a great 18 months getting to know both children from new-born babies into the confident, charming and very cute little people they are today.
And all credit to Lelli for her admirable care of our precious darlings.
We had a celebratory supper for Lelli at which everybody cried, including Steve, and excluding Colman (unfeeling cold-hearted type that chap). While Esme and Soren ran around the apartment and laughed and fell over and explored and bounced on the chairs and sofa and chortled with excitement at being so young with their whole lives to live.
Thanks for the good times!
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London Town
San Francisco – London
I had started packing the week before we flew, which was lucky given our hospital alarum. And also that Colman wasn’t around to help out. But all went to plan. The flight was long and not one I’d want to repeat in a hurry and she was wriggly and cried a few times, but we got there. Esme liked Ice Age 2 very much – our strategy of no TV worked well as she was mesmerised by the – and having watched it with her can testify to it being one of the better cartoon films I’ve ever seen – over and over.
As soon as the wheels hit the tarmac at Heathrow, Esme was an angel, and for the next 36 hours, which was extremely welcome.
Our progress through Terminal 5 was not so welcome. The stroller had been placed in the hold so we had to walk/be carried for some distance through the shiny new terminal with acres of space for a toddler cooped up on a plane for 10 hours to revel in.
Finally after a less than satisfactory Customs personnel experience we were reunited with our luggage and stroller. Then I realised I couldn’t pull/push both at the same time. A kind lady from BA helped me get into the Arrivals Hall but then I resorted to ride and tie – pushing one and coming back for the other and pushing it past the first. This we did as far as the cashpoint and to the taxi rank – and noone helped me until we were 15 metres from the taxi.
Which was £80 for the journey to my mother’s.We got in the taxi – I had been very focused on getting to this point of the journey, luggage and Esme intact – and burst into tears. Esme looked at me, eyes round as saucers. ‘Mama cwying!’ ‘Yes I know, but it’s not you, I love you’ ‘I love you, mama cwying’ ‘I love you too’. 'I love you, mama cwying'. A milestone was reached in our relationship – she was comforting me for the first time.
And she gazed out of the window all the way to Islington, serene and calm.
Beaux Arts Building
My parents were out of town, which had its advantages. We could run around their apartment naked and at strange times of the night, and sleep in different rooms.
Esme seemed to recognise where we were when she got to the corridor, which was interesting as she hadn’t been there since October.
We had a quiet first day, not allowing any naps for the first few days in order to get her into the new timezone; she woke only once in the night for an hour or so and was persuaded back to sleep pretty readily. I found it harder.
Next day we strolled to see my sister Louise and Peter, Lizzie, Thomas and to meet 5mo old Baby Sami for the first time.
Lizzie was wonderful with Esme during our entire trip and the two bonded beautifully. 
Esme enjoyed exploring their house inside and out.Their house was in a cheerful state of chaos, with their move to Zambia imminent.
We met Ghazala their Pakistani nanny, who was so lovely with Esme, and cooked up a terrific lunch.
That afternoon we were with Kate and her family and had a lovely time in the playground, and at their house hanging out and catching up. Relaxed and perfect.
And Esme again woke just once that night and was able to get back to sleep quite quickly. I consumed vast quantities of melatonin and Horlicks before finally nodding off again.
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Jessica and Alex’s WeddingTo Manchester
The next morning we met up with Peter, Lizzie, Thomas and Ghazala at Euston station.
Esme’s run of immaculate behaviour ended on the train where she was alternately mischievous, grumpy, grinning, hungry, needy.
My highlight moment was Lizzie saying in clarion tones to the amusement of those nearby: ‘it rains a lot in Manchester. I’ve been looking at the weather forecast all week and it rains all the time.’ I explained all about the Atlantic pressure systems and prevailing winds. Lizzie thought about this. ‘People in Manchester must really like the rain!’
We met Mum in the hotel nicely situated close to the canal. Esme very excited at everybody’s rooms being close together along the corridor and pleased to see Granny again.
A quick turnaround for the wedding and we were off to the Town Hall. 
While Ghazala took Esme with Lizzie and Thomas to the Museum of Science & Industry, they got to ride on a steam train which was cool.Town Hall
This splendid Victorian Gothic building held the ceremony. It had wonderful carvings, painted ceilings and mosaic tiled halls.
It was so good to see everybody, particularly my family. Dad was wearing a fetching striped blazer. 
Lucy and Judith sat with Toni behind us.In front were Ros with a most elegant chignon, and Roddy and their three – Tara, Jemima and Wyndham.
Gillian wore a superb embroidered jacket.Alex looked incredibly relaxed. Clara behaved beautifully sitting with her grandparents.
Movingly, Archie brought Jessica down the aisle. 
She was wearing Vivienne Westwood – most apt as a Lancashire lass – and the most vertiginous shoes I’ve ever seen, by Jimmy Choo.The three cousins, Archie, Tara and Mima, read The Owl and the Pussycat.
I choked up at the vows – fervent and heartfelt.
And also when remembering Grannie who would have been so proud to have seen this day.Drinks and socialising were then in the room adjacent for an hour or so before we moved to the second venue, a wine bar beside the canal.
Much gossip, laughter, chatting, photos (I shot a study of the rainbow of summer fabrics on display which was good fun - this is Jessica's dress in close up, and Alex's tie) and boozing ensued. The sun even shone after the rain, allowing the smokers to pack the balcony.
I did feel very Californian, looking at the numbers of people puffing away and the attendant reek of cigarettes. Perhaps my nostrils have become more sensitive to the gaspers living in a land where it is less socially acceptable…All the speeches were excellent and very amusing.
Starting with Chris who waxed lyrical about Jessica, Gillian, Ros and Archie. All of whom he’s lived with over the years, including myself.
Any mention of Grannie set me off again.As did the public affirmations of Alex and Jessica’s romance.
Alex’s speech was very droll, acknowledging the debt he owed to Jessica for organising absolutely everything for this happy day.And both of them spoke eloquently of their shared love, admiration, respect and deep friendship.
Mum very very wonderfully went back to the hotel to babysit Esme and relieve her from Ghazala’s care. Thank you Mum.
Jessica and Alex pulled off their First Dance with aplomb, even in those heels, those rehearsals paid off.
And Dad was of course the first on the dance floor thereafter, leaving Jessica giddy, me dizzy, while Judith was sent flying!
The mash up of tunes from schmaltz to rave and back again saw me shaking a tail feather with alacrity, it having been so long since I had properly danced.
And unfortunately Louise and Peter were taking Sami back to the hotel to bed when We Are Family was played, but I danced for us both with all the women in my family present – Jessica, Lucy, Ros, Toni, Doey and Henny – superb!
The quality of dancing enjoyed an inverse relationship to the quantity of alcohol imbibed. My Strictly Come Dancing father was pretty scornful about the music so poled off at 10.
Louise and Peter reappeared for the late session; I felt guilty about Mum so had a prolonged farewell, staying for just one more track and then another and yet another, before walking back along the canal telling Colman all about the day.Esme slept through that night – amazing – we had cracked jet lag on the third night through a combination of no naps and a packed schedule!
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Brunch at Lucy’s
The next morning we headed to Lucy’s in Didsbury.
It was a sunny and warm occasion and we hung out in Lucy’s back yard soaking up the rays. We were the vanguard, unsurprisingly given the state of everybody else the night before.Dad was most impressed by Esme’s use of the gutter – claiming she pissed all over Manchester.
Always great to see the Three Sisters giggling together.
Eventually the next contingent arrived, Ros doing remarkably well – apparently the main event had finished at one so the diehards went back to Jessica’s hotel and enjoyed a hot tub with champagne on the roof terrace.
Finally Jessica and Alex showed with Clara, who is half a head taller than Esme despite being 20 hours her junior.It was so cool to just hang out with my family for a couple of hours.
We managed to get most of the next generation in one photo, bar Thomas who was being unsocial and Sami who was asleep in the next room, a team effort got the kids on parade – thanks all!A fitting finale to a great family occasion!
Thank you Jessica and Alex for such a fun wedding, and also to Lucy for hosting the day after.Exhausted Esme slept nearly all our way back to London in the car with my parents.
That night I joined lovely Sean for his birthday dinner in the Oval, meet his new boyfriend, Jeremy, and catch up with Tess and Ed.
By the time I got home later that night I was well and truly shattered.
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London Friends
Islington Adventures
Our next full week in London went to plan. However, I felt quite tired throughout the whole trip, my sleep never really got into a good rhythm from sharing a room with Esme, which I’m not used to doing. By the end of the week she also became aware of me, culminating in a bad night where she woke,
refused to lie down again unless in my bed, then kept wriggling so I dumped her back in the cot, ignoring protestations and snoozed on the sofa until dawn started to break.She coped pretty well with the social whirl, maintaining her usual easy going sangfroid (with the occasional meltdown) resorting to using her pacifier (‘bai’) and muslin (‘muhzleen’) more than usual in compensation.
She became a TV addict in short order, as TV is more prevalent in Britain than it is amongst our peer group in the US, and the box was often on. CBeebies and Night Garden a particular favourite.I’d forgotten how humid it can get in London – humidity is not a big player in the California climate. And how, on the whole, people are as nice and friendly as in California – if you take them to be that way inclined.
London looked and felt completely similar of course. Some things looked new and shiny, others increasingly decrepit and shabby.I marvelled anew at the volume of humanity, and how amazingly well London Transport carries them all about in such an efficient manner – yes truly. We became adept at bus, tube, and train travel.
We visited our house, definitely on the shabby spectrum – no slur against our excellent tenants, more for it being 9 years since it was first decorated and needs a bucket or several of paint.
Our garden is now a veritable jungle and feels wonderfully secluded and private with thick creeper and clematis walls.
We had a lovely brunch with JD and Katy, Esme loving hanging out with Minnie whose eyes surpass hers for blueness and bigness.
One afternoon we spent with the wonderful Jane and explored a corner of Kensington Gardens.
Followed by a lively reunion with the gorgeous Harry and Stella and Phil - very nice to see them all again.
We had a series of playdates – firstly with Alexia and her beautiful daughters, Katya, Molly and Helena.
Felicity came over to see us.
Fiona, Jesse, Martha and brand new baby Edie made us very welcome in their house and garden. Esme adores babies so caressed Edie gently many times,
before deciding that Jesse’s nearly full scale car was more deserving of attention.
A nostalgia fest for me, I metaphorically lovingly caressed each paving stone as we strolled through Canonbury on the way there and back, feasting my eyes on my dream houses in the Alwynes where I grew up.
Esme became impatient and bored as I pointed out yet another landmark, not quite grasping their critical importance to the shaping of her Mama.
Rose and Esme had a super time in Alex and Sonia’s garden one warm and sunny afternoon – yes the weather was kind some of our time in London! 
They played with chalk and buckets of water, dolls and cradles.We strolled to the shops (very very slowly), accompanied by Alex Sunshine .
The two girls finished the evening by watching a Tinkerbell cartoon film, while the adults had a spirited discussion about the lack of suitable role models in popular culture for girls. 
Tinkerbell seemed to be unnecessarily sexualised and dressed in a short skirt and low neckline, as deemed to be appropriate for her role as the heroine of the piece.
The point, made elsewhere by more eloquent voices than mine, is that the Disney princess model is almost all that young girls get exposed to. The tyranny of pink, the fetishisation of the handsome prince, the narcissitic compulsion to decorate oneself with marriage as the ultimate goal, threatens to set back the cause of equality and feminism for a generation.I’m as keen as the next (if not more so) to dress up, but worry that activity and hobby choices for girls seem to be directed into a too narrow range.
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Dad’s BirthdayIt was my father’s birthday while we were in London, and while Louise and family were still here so we marked the occasion with a full house.
Mum organised a series of games including Grandma’s Footsteps, Musical Statues and the Hokey Cokey, which Esme really got into.
Lizzie and Esme LOVED playing together.
Luncheon was a real feast, culminating in Dad’s favourite, Pavlova!A really fun-filled day but poignant too – who knows when we’ll all be together again? Peter left 2 days later for Zambia… The family to follow.
Grown Up Playdates
I had a night out with the girls - Catherine, Flo, Jess and Moyra who came up from Brighton specially – really excellent evening. One of those where it’s just like you’ve never been away.
And congrats to Flo and Laurent on their joint 40th which I missed by a week – doh!
My only restaurant outing of the whole trip was to La Trouvaille in West Soho with Angie, Graeme, Ali, Martin, Pete and Glenda, the latter endearing us instantly to the French waiter by asking for Prosecco!We felt sorry for our near neighbours, clearly on a date, as our table became ever more raucous as the evening wore on and our laughter could be heard above the Soho hubbub outside.
Thanks to Mum for babysitting and being so amazing!
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Mural of the MonthThis was taken from my window at the Castlefield Hotel in Manchester, and is part of the Museum of Science and Industry.
Stencil of the Month
Bumper Sticker of the Month
War is Terrorism on a Bigger Budget
And these were seen out and about on Sunday Streets day:
Love and hugs
Nadine, Colman and Esme xxx
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